Long time, no talk. Just a quickie post, as I haven’t posted in so long, and I had a fascinating experience.
I left my 9-to-5 job, I’m full-time working for myself, and my time has been FULL of adventures: creating an updated logo, developing my website, going to networking meetings, having 1-on-1s with potential collaborators and referral sources, etc.
At the end of last week, something started to shift. New, healthier habits I’ve created started to slip. Convincing myself to workout or meditate, even for 5 minutes, felt like a chore. New eating habits of less, more nutrient rich food felt foreign; I wanted sugar and I wanted it right away!
What the hell is going on?…
So I’m sitting in front of my computer today, reflecting on this feeling of backsliding, and decided to just drop the noise out of my head, ask a set of questions, and see what came up?
Why are old habits popping up?
Why are they so attractive/easy, even though my new habits have become comfortable?
What the hell is going on?
And as with the effortlessness of thought itself, it came to me: I had settled on a logo design and was moving deeper into my marketing/branding plan.
“WTF, Ryan… What kind of bullshit is that? Why wouldn’t that fire you up and propel you forward?”
Well, dear reader, what does a scared person do when they start to feel swept up in a moment? THEY HIT THE BRAKES! So, that’s what I had unknowingly been doing. Thankfully, after years of contemplative practice, it was more like that really irritating brake test of “tap… tap… TAP… tappppp”-ing the brakes, but still… not ideal.
So when this answer came to me, what did I do?
Oh my G-D, I think… OMG, I think I’m making progress. I got scared! That means I’m moving in the right direction! WOOHOO!
…and then I immediately knelt on the floor of my office and started a breathing meditation.
Guilty as charged.
And it felt GREAT! Better than the week before, certainly.
I want to talk in a future post about what I call “Flipping the Magnet,” that essentially we could benefit from distinguishing real threats from safe risks, and turning resistance into joy.
Sounds good, doesn’t it?
In the meantime, be well, be challenged, and find a way to celebrate a little scared corner of yourself. I think you’ll be happier for it.